![]() ![]() If your filter sometimes leads you to believe that your partner is uninterested, lazy, etc., look at evidence on both sides to decide if that assessment really has merit. If you’re aware that you sometimes use a negative filter, spend some time giving yourself a little reality check. Can we talk about that?” Then be open to a conversation. When either of you thinks the other might be employing a negative filter, say something like, “I could be off here, but I wonder if you might be doing some negative filtering right now. Once you’ve figured out who is guilty of filtering, agree to work together to improve it. Take some time to discuss with your partner if you believe one or both of you has a tendency to use this cognitive distortion. If this sounds familiar to you, the good news is that the way to address negative filtering is relatively straightforward.
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